memorable quotes

Felicia: [singing] A desert holiday, let's pack the drag away. You take the lunch and tea, I'll take the ecstasy. Fuck off you silly queer, I'm getting out of here. A desert holiday, hip hip hip hip hooray!

Bernadette: One more push, I'm gonna to smack his face so hard he'll have to stick his toothbrush up his arse to clean his teeth!

Felicia: It's so funny you'll laugh so hard your lashes will curl all by themselves.

Felicia: Oh, for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix. Someone needs the wood.

Felicia: Do you think I'm going to let you walk away with all the attention? No chance, come on girls. Let's go shopping.

Mitzi: You know, there are two things I don't like about you, Felicia... your face. So how 'bout shutting both of them?

Felicia: Mowing those lawns must have been murder on your heels, though.

Felicia: The only life I saw for the last million miles were the hypnotized bunnies. Most of them are now wedged in the tires.

Bernadette: Believe me, Bob, these days gentlemen are an endangered species. Unlike bloody drag queens who just keep breeding like rabbits.

Bernadette: Oh. Uh, gather around girls, uh, let me show you a trick. You, um, drink the Gin...
[Guzzles the entire contents]
Bernadette: aah, uh, fill the bottle up with water and then put it back in the fridge.
Mitzi: Va-t'on vous. What about the scotch?
Bernadette: Aha! That's where the complimentary tea bags come in handy.

Felicia: Do you have the Texas Chainsaw Mascara?

Tick: Is it true when you were born the doctor turned around and slapped your mother?

Tick: [Tick and Bernadette are discussing what it would be like to have children] What happens if they turn out like Adam?
Bernadette: You stuff 'em back in and ask for a refund.

Felicia: I met some Swedish tourists named... Lars, Lars and Lars.